Love, such a wonderful love

As I sit here on this Resurrection Sunday I am so grateful for the love God has for me. It is by far the greatest feeling ever, to know that you are loved. God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son (John 3:16)...He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed... (Isaiah 53:5).

I rejoice in that but it took me some time to understand just how much God loved me. For a while I was angry with Him, angry at the string of events that had occurred in my life. I couldn't fathom how someone could love me but take away such a vital piece of my life, my heart. And then one day He made it oh so clear to me. He didn't take my mother away, he called her home...much like a parent calls their child in from outside when it gets dark. Who was I to question what He did with His child, she didn't belong to me...she belonged to Him. Did I know the plans He had for her? Did I understand her prayers? Was I there for her entire journey? And much like Job, I couldn't do anything but repent and admit that "I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know..." (Job 42:3). I quickly learned that God does love me and He loves me more than I love myself. Even when I walked away from Him He kept me safe, He kept me clothed, He kept me fed, He kept me. That love is what keeps me going day in and day out, on the dark days it lights a path, when I am weak it gives me strength. It is a wonderful feeling to be loved and know it.

I still miss her everyday, just wanting one more hug, one more kiss, one more chance to hear her yell "Kimberly". But each day I get stronger, each prayer makes me calmer. And I know that she is proud of all of us. One day I will see her again and when I do we have so much to talk about!